.....

That night, she sat on her bed and cried. Some days were better than others, some days were good, but most of them were bad. "Some days, life just turns its back on you", she thought. And as she held her head between her hands, she began wondering if she wasn't running out of chances to being happy.

The night is over. She should stop dreaming. And thinking. Sometimes she thinks too much. Sometimes, words come out of her mouth that end up hurting other people. Sometimes, words come out of her mouth that hurt no one but herself. The radio starts humming. "In the end, the love you receive equals to the love you give", says the DJ. She doesn't believe that to be true. She thinks she's given much more than what she's got. Cold shower, or is it hot? Somehow she doesn't notice anymore. First cigarette once she's out on the sidewalk. Running away might be a good idea, or maybe not. She starts walking towards her school. She passes some people but she doesn't want to see faces today. She doesn't want to see the sun either. If there was a pill that could make her stop feeling, she would take it. If there only was such a pill...

Her friend says it's not worth it. How can her friend know? Her friend isn't running out of chances to being happy. She is. Her friend says she'll find someone else to be happy with. She doesn't want to be happy with anybody else. Her friend... she doesn't have anything against her friend, she knows her friend is trying. She keeps on walking and sees him, sitting in his class. She can't stand to look at him without wanting to run to him. He used to make her feel special. She used to like the person she became when she was with him. She's having a hard time letting go. Where will everything go? The moments, the conversations, the past, the future... is it all lost? The thought of never again being held in his arms is enough to make her cry. She starts crying again. She sits down and just stares... stares at nothing. Too much to think, so little space in her brain. She thinks too much. That's what her friend says. As much as she'd like to believe her friend, she just can't.